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In this post, Jessica Koosed Etting, co-founder of Jam—a shared calendar and family organization platform—makes a compelling case for bringing the same systems-thinking we use in business into our home lives. She argues that families, especially parents (and particularly mothers), are overwhelmed by the mental load of managing households without formal structures to support them. To counteract this, she introduces the Sunday Sync, a quick weekly planning ritual that acts like a “Home Operating System.”
This 15–30 minute check-in helps families get aligned on calendars, to-dos, shopping needs, and wellness priorities. With a structured agenda and tips for execution, the Sunday Sync reduces chaos, improves communication, and helps divide responsibilities more equitably. Etting emphasizes that building this habit empowers families to reduce stress, reclaim time, and model healthier dynamics for children—while fostering joy, intention, and well-being in the week ahead.
We would never expect to run our businesses without a set of systems and communication methods. Imagine collaborating with your team on a project without ever writing anything down or delegating a list of tasks and deliverables. Or communicating changes solely through a chaotic group text (Our 1pm meeting is now at 3!)
And yet…our home lives are often just as complex with hundreds of moving pieces each week (and a team of unruly people we are managing!), and we expect to make it through by sheer brain power and a mile-long text chain with our partners (You have to schedule that Music Class make up; Early pick up today; We need milk; And eggs; My meeting changed to a dinner….and on and on and on).
It’s no wonder that parents, and especially female partners who still take on the bulk of the mental labor at home, are drowning under the weight of overwhelm. (And yet somehow thinking the problem lies with them).
As the co-founder of Jam, an AI-powered shared calendar + organization platform that streamlines the logistics of modern family life (think of it like a Family Operating System), I’ve become obsessed with bringing the same level of respect and organization to home life that we do in our businesses.
Not only because our valuable home life is deserving of that level of intention, but because (just like in the work place), the right systems, tools and automations can make things easier, smooth friction and miscommunication, give us back time, and overall allow us to feel less stressed and more clear and on top of things.
Over the years since I’ve founded Jam, I’ve gotten the chance to peek behind the organizational curtains as I onboarded hundreds of Beta users’ families, fielded customer requests and spent countless hours chatting with working parents about home organizational flows and tools that work best. As a result, I’ve been able to hone hacks, tricks and systems (that don’t feel like more work) that reduce the overall mental load and allow our home lives to run more smoothly.
Without a doubt, one of our favorite, most effective and most adopted “Home as HQ” strategies at Jam is the Sunday Sync.
We think of it as our antidote to the Sunday Scaries, and when it’s run properly it can save you time, reduce chaos and set up families for success each week.
How to Run a Successful Sunday Sync
The Framework:
- You and your partner in a relatively quiet spot with access to your computer/devices (or, can be done as a solo exercise or with caregivers or other family members depending on family structure)
- Keep it short (15 - 30 minutes maximum) to ensure it sticks each week
- Pick a time of day that generally works best for you and your family’s schedule
- Schedule it on your shared calendar as a recurring event. If it needs to move, you can adjust, but if it’s not on the calendar, it’s hard to make the habit stick and things will get scheduled over it.
Does it have to be Sunday?
No! We recommend that to ensure the school/work week starts with everyone on the same page, but some families like making this a Friday meeting and others operate on different work schedules entirely. Do what works best for your family and that gives you the highest probability of keeping the habit.
The Agenda:
- Calendar
- To-Do’s
- Shopping
- The Joy + Wellness Edit
The Details:
It’s essential to start your Sunday Sync with a calendar review, as that is the engine that drives household life.
We are STRONG proponents of a shared calendar system in the home so that both partners have access to all pertinent details. The mental load can become unbearable when one partner is holding all the information for the family in their calendar, while the other is only on a “need to know” basis for events that involve just them.
Calendar
Starting with Monday morning, go through the calendar day by day for the week using the 3 C method:
1) Confirm what's on the calendar on a granular level so everyone is aware: Carpools, driving, activities, work meetings out of the normal time and/or travel, social events, caregiver hours.
–Get anything missing onto the calendar immediately.
–For each event, think about things that may need to get to done (i.e. book a babysitter, buy a birthday gift) and add that to your To Do List if needed.
2) Conflict Resolve if necessary as issues inevitably arise through the days ("I usually take Georgia to swim on Wednesday but I’m traveling this week, can you take her"; “I can, I just need to move this meeting up an hour.”)
3) Change anything that needs to be updated, added or adjusted (the activity time that got switched, the appointment that never made it onto the calendar, a caregiving schedule that needs to be adjusted, etc.)
Additional Tips:
- Make the changes and resolve conflicts during the meeting if possible (don’t punt until later).
- We recommend that as tasks and shopping needs arise when discussing an event, they also get added in that moment to your shared running To Do and shopping lists.
- If meal planning is part of your family’s home life, schedule this in at this time too.
- For families with older kids, they can be involved in this as well or looped in at the end, so they know who is picking them up and have more accountability and oversight into their schedules as well (this goes a long way in both relieving anxiety and building responsibility!)
Finish up the calendar-connect with a quick higher-level look to the next upcoming weeks to see if there is anything major that may need some planning (i.e. a birthday, a trip) and take note of it.
The goal is for the shared calendar to accurately reflect what is happening for the week by the end of the meeting.
Once the calendar looks good, you can move onto the next pieces of your agenda.
To Do’s:
Review the running list of To Do’s (if you don’t have one, your first Sunday Sync is a good time to start one!)
–What got handled this week that needs to get checked off?
–What still needs to get done for this week, what needs to get added to the list?
–Who is doing what? What can/should get delegated?
It’s helpful to have one list of more pressing general To Do’s and then create additional lists for larger joint projects (i.e. Esme’s birthday party, Kitchen reno, Winter vacation plan). Start with the most urgent for the week, and then get in tasks for the future as well as they pertain to events on the calendar that month.
We recommend Jam as a great place to house these lists for maximum group visibility, but there are many shared apps specifically for To do’s that are good for this as well. (We do not recommend writing To Do’s as calendar events).
Before you move on, quickly assess what needs to be done:
- Is it realistic? If not, take things off the list and/or look to what can be delegated to make room. No one feels great entering a week with a To Do list they know is impossible.
- Does one partner need more coverage this week based on a busy work week? If so, adjust.
- In general, are things being divvied up fairly or does one person need to add more to their list this week?
Shopping
Finally do a quick review Grocery + supply needs for the week and add anything missing to the list. This is also a good time to review any gifts or items that need to be bought for upcoming birthday parties and events on the calendar
(Pro Tip: We love having a standing automated grocery delivery of just the weekly/monthly basics, as well as prescriptions, supplements and household supplies, so we can set it and forget it and know at least the baseline is covered.)
ThIt would be laughable. You’d feel like things were falling through the cracks every day.
The best part! Calendars and home life shouldn’t be just a grind of relentless events and tasks. The end of the meeting is the perfect time to assess your week and optimize to proactively improve mental health and wellness before it becomes an issue.
Take a quick look at the week’s schedules and see, what does the week feel like?
- Does the week feel particularly hectic? What can be eliminated just this week to make life easier for you – and everyone else? What event do you possibly need to decline?
- How is the work-life balance shaking out? If it’s looking particularly work-heavy or involves work travel – where can you fit in a little low-lift family time that everyone can look forward to?
- Where is the joy this week? If there aren’t any events in the calendar that spark joy, schedule one in or block out time for something quasi-spontaneous.
- What self-care, wellness or relaxation events do I have for myself this week? This can be anything from a work-out, to a skin mask at home to 30 minutes blocked out for a call with an old friend or to curl up with a book uninterrupted. Pencil those in if they’re not there. Your future self will thank you.
- For couples: Where can we find time alone together? If it doesn’t work this week, where can we schedule it later this month?
Being proactive with the way we spend our time allows us to create and carve out more moments of intention, happiness, healthy productivity, and well-being in the week that might otherwise never happen otherwise.
That’s it! Meeting over. If there are any loose ends that weren’t able to get tied up in the Sync (a ride or babysitter that still needs to confirm), get them onto the To Do list so it doesn’t slip through the cracks.
Benefits to the Sunday Sync (beyond the obvious)
- Time Savings - taking 15 - 30 minutes to get on the same page at the top of the week ends up saving you time in the long run between inefficiencies, missing shopping items, endless back and forth each day of what’s happening. (Truly! I speak from my own personal experience with this one!)
- Chaos + Crisis Mitigation - A Sunday Sync allows you catch the problems in the schedule with enough time to actually fix them (as opposed to the night before…)
- Improved Work-Life Integration - We all have been on the Zoom meeting frantically side-chatting a partner or caregiver about what soccer field the practice is on or what time music class starts. When everything is scheduled in the calendar appropriately, there’s less interruptions during “work time” and more intention to fill your cup during home life time.
- Improved Communication and Reduced Friction. When everyone is clearly on the same page, there are less opportunities for issues to arise during the week in terms of logistics and what needs to get done.
- Efficiency Loops. Getting the high-level view of the week and month allow you to see patterns you don’t see when you’re lurching from day to day – like batching errands or coordinating with a caregiver.
- Reduced Resentment: When one person is no longer the default manager – and everyone has more visibility – there is more opportunity to work cohesively as a team without it all falling on one person’s shoulders.
- Modeling behavior: Your kids see that home life takes work too, and that making it work is important to all the adults in the home.
Want more? Follow us @jamfamilycalendar on Instagram where we like to drop ideas, strategies and tools for combatting the mental load and making modern family life more easy + equal, or check us out at jamfamilycalendar.com
By Jessica Koosed Etting
Jessica Koosed Etting is the co-founder and CEO of Jam, a pioneering family calendar app designed to dismantle mental load and make family life more efficient and equitable. Prior to founding Jam, Jessica hailed from the entertainment industry, with over twenty years of experience in female-forward storytelling, branded content and marketing. Jessica resides in Los Angeles with her family, is passionate about gender equality in and out of the home, and can frequently be found searching for her sons’ missing shin guards.
