I'll never forget meeting Alexa Arnold when she joined The Grand community in 2021. She was in the middle of a career transition, asking all the right questions about what came next. There was something about her that told me she was going to do something special. I just had no idea how special.
Fast forward to that pivotal moment when a friend texted asking if she wanted to help build a movement around Jonathan Haidt's The Anxious Generation. Alexa's immediate response? Yes! Then her whole body panicked.
She had little Hank at home at just 18 months old and had finally found her groove with consulting work that felt sustainable. Most of us would have politely declined. But Alexa did what she always does: she went deeper. Who do I want my son to see when he looks at me? What kind of person do I need to be to show up as the mom he deserves?
Those questions led her to something beautiful: becoming a mom alive with purpose.
Watching her journey unfold has been one of my favorite parts of building The Grand. From member to coach to now Managing Director of a movement that's transformed policy in 17 U.S. states, multiple countries, and is working with parents, young people, and leaders worldwide, she's living proof that motherhood doesn't shrink your capacity to lead. It reveals superpowers you never knew you had.
Her story is exactly why we do this work: ambitious mothers don't have to choose between career success and family fulfillment.
We like to think the world has evolved, but the harsh truth is that most business advice still comes from people who've never had to run a strategy meeting while a toddler melts down in the background. In building a global movement to change childhood, I am discovering that the leadership qualities motherhood forced me to develop – holding paradoxes, planning for futures I can't yet see, and leading with abundance and generosity – aren't liabilities to overcome, but superpowers to embrace.
This is exactly why I'm thrilled to have Alexa leading a roundtable -
"The Leadership Style No One Taught Me (But Motherhood Did)"
at The Grand Pursuit retreat in October.
Here's how she's rewriting the rules of ambitious motherhood, in her own words. ⬇️
1. Take me back to that moment when your friend texted asking if you wanted to help Jon Haidt build a movement around The Anxious Generation. What was that decision like for you as a new mom, and what made you say yes?
My son was about 18 months old. I had recently left my full-time job and was doing some strategy consulting and executive coaching – a manageable balance between work and parenting.
Then, one day, a friend who was leading Jonathan Haidt’s book launch strategy texted me: “Want to help Jon build a movement around his new book, The Anxious Generation?”
I replied right away: yes! And then my whole body panicked.
Before becoming a parent, I would’ve jumped in without thinking twice. I know how to build from scratch, lead teams, and run campaigns that generate social impact. I also know what it takes to raise a small human. I was paralyzed by the belief that I would have to choose, and that I couldn’t possibly do both.
I ran the numbers: childcare costs, tradeoffs with my husband’s schedule, what my weeks would actually look like. I felt both the urge to jump in and the sting of knowing it likely meant more time apart from my son. I talked to other ambitious moms. They told me what I was already starting to learn through parenting: you never fully figure it out, but you make it work.
I also asked myself some deeper questions: Who do I want my son to see when he looks at me? What kind of person do I need to be so that I can show up as the mom he deserves?
The answers felt clear: A mom alive with purpose. A mom who’s grateful to be both a parent and who’s committed to doing work that matters.
I’ll never forget that first week. I dropped my son at daycare at 8AM and flew to LA for a book launch event. At the same time, my husband flew home from a film festival and picked him up by 5PM. We were in the air at the exact same time while Hank was at daycare – one parent tagged out, the other tagged in. That handoff has been the metaphor for this season of our lives ever since.
2. Your roundtable is called "The Leadership Style No One Taught Me (But Motherhood Did)." You're building a global movement while raising a toddler, something that feels impossible to most people. How has leading through motherhood actually made you stronger?
True to both motherhood and movement-building, you simply can’t do it alone. While I play a role in shaping our team and strategy, the real goal of our work is to empower and support parents, educators, young people, and policymakers to lead in their spheres of influence. The same goes for how I try to show up with my family.
My husband’s a big basketball fan, so I try to think of myself like a point guard: I bring the ball down the court, set up the play, and pass it. Sometimes I’ll take the shot. But you can’t win the game if you’re trying to play every position.
For a while, I believed that being a good mom who also works a big job meant seamlessly juggling it all – carrying an equal load as my husband, while also working really intense days. After a full day, I’d race to make every daycare pickup. Then I’d stay up late, trying to keep up with work. I was running myself ragged.
Looking back, I was playing too many positions on the court. I was stuck in a scarcity mindset that equated my worth with how much I could do – taking on too much just to prove that I could do it all. This mindset kept me believing that being stretched thin was proof of my commitment, a reflection of how deeply I loved both my work and my family.
But the truth is that I’m not doing this alone. I have an amazing husband with a flexible schedule, a strong support system of friends and family, a talented team working alongside me, and incredible caretakers. The biggest shift has been mental: I’ve stopped letting myself believe that being a good mom means sacrificing everything. Instead, I’m giving myself permission to feel fulfilled by meaningful work.
What that looks like in practice: my husband usually handles drop-off and pick-up. Rather than tracking the nights I’ve missed bedtime out of an attempt at fairness, I focus on being present when I’m there, and remember that this is a particularly intense time where I have to be on a lot.
I’ve also seen how a scarcity mindset can sneak into work. When you’re building an organization from scratch, you naturally wear a lot of hats. You take pride in what you're creating. But I’ve noticed, both in myself and in other leaders, how that pride can turn into possessiveness – keeping the most exciting projects for yourself, holding the most important relationships, instead of sharing or delegating.
But if we really want to create lasting change, mission-based organizations can’t just be about one person or one organization or one CEO. It takes so many people – each person in their zone of genius, leading where they’re strongest. It takes an abundance mindset. For me, that means intentionally building a team with skills that go beyond mine, and thinking about movement building as not just about our organization, but growing the field. I didn’t grow up seeing this kind of leadership modeled, but parenting taught me how to do it: trust others, let go, and embrace your strengths and weaknesses.
Practically, every week, I review my calendar and task list with fresh eyes. Where can I bring in a team member to lead? Where can I hand something off entirely to another organization?
It takes active practice, but the payoff is huge: more creativity, deeper trust across the team, stronger partnerships, constant learning. It’s also raised the bar on our mission – from solve this quickly to build a field, a movement, and give solutions staying power.
3. For so many women, motherhood feels like it shrinks their dreams, but for you it seems like it's fueled your ability to think bigger about changing the world. How has becoming a mother made you more fearless in tackling something as massive as reclaiming childhood?
Being a parent is hard as hell, but it also brings me incredible amounts of joy. The same is true for my movement-building work. When I’m grounded in gratitude and joy, it becomes easier to get creative, imagine new possibilities, and actually enjoy the process. So when either part of my life – work or parenting – starts to lose that spark, or I notice my mindset slipping back into scarcity, it’s usually a sign that I need a reset.
There are definitely hard days – like comforting a screaming toddler one minute and discussing policy strategy with foreign leaders the next. But more often than not, I remember there’s a clear through-line here. My commitment to this movement comes from how deeply I need these solutions to exist in my own life, for my own family.
Our movement is full of other parents who are driven by the same hopes and struggles – who want to restore childhood for their kids and others. It’s this sense of shared purpose and community that truly keeps me going.
4. If everything you're building works, if you succeed beyond your wildest imagination and kids everywhere have more free play and less screen time, what does that world look like for your son Hank? What kind of childhood are you fighting to give him, and every child?
If everything we’re building works, my son Hank will grow up in a childhood where he gets to be a kid.
He’ll get to climb trees, invent games with friends, and learn who he is through face-to-face connection – not through filtered versions of life online. He’ll have plenty of boredom, lots of fun, and space to grow his attention span, his imagination, and his sense of self. That’s the childhood I want for him and for every kid.
The Anxious Generation Movement is about exactly that. Sparked by Jon Haidt’s research and grounded in urgent data, we’re working to undo the phone-based childhood and promote a healthier one built on play, independence, and real-world connection. We do this by changing policy, behavior, and culture at local, federal, and international levels.
We’re already seeing change. Seventeen U.S. states and Washington D.C. have passed bell-to-bell phone-free school policies, with dozens of other states (and entire countries, like Brazil) following suit. Australia just raised the age to be on social media to 16. France, the Netherlands, and New Zealand are considering similar action.
Culturally, we’re watching momentum build. Parents are organizing locally, teens are speaking up, and kids are trying things they’ve never done before, on their own. Dumb phones and landlines are trending. Even the next Toy Story is taking on screens! This issue has moved from something we all felt intuitively to being the kitchen table issue of our generation. I’m grateful for the chance to help solve it, alongside so many others who want to change the norm.
5. Here at The Grand Pursuit, we believe you don't have to choose between career success and family fulfillment. What are you in pursuit of right now?
I’m in pursuit of making every single person see their place as a leader within this movement. We all have agency when it comes to making different choices, especially now that we’re armed with new information about how technology is impacting our mental and social health.
That and more long weekends in upstate New York with my family!
What I love most about Alexa's approach isn't just her ability to build a global movement while raising a toddler, it's her commitment to leading like a point guard and her willingness to share the truth about what abundance thinking actually looks like in practice. This is the kind of wisdom that shifts how you see leadership itself, and I'm so excited for her to share it with our community in October.
— Rei
